My Published Books
The Really Bad Jokes Series
Book 1: The Little Book of 101 Grandad Jokes
What does a Dad joke become when it gets too old?
Why, a Grandad joke, of course.
This collection of 101 of the best ever Grandad jokes is aimed at kids who just want a laugh and Grandads (and Dads) who want to stock up on those jokes that make their kids groan (while secretly laughing).
Grandad tried to warn everyone that the Titanic was going to hit an iceberg and sink. But no one would listen. He was screaming and shouting but they all told him to be quiet. They weren’t interested in what he had to say. But he just got louder and louder.In the end, they had to eject him from the movie theatre.
Ideal Father's Day present for the Dad or Grandad in your life.
Ideal Christmas stocking filler for the kids. Imagine your 12 year old brightening up Christmas by reading all 101 jokes at the dinner table. Or not.
Warning: Contains the word fart (twice).
At the end of the book, you'll find 25 Swifties. One-liners to cover those situations where afterwards you think afterwards "Now if only I'd said...".
Buy the eBook and download the audio book for free. Play it in the car and annoy your passengers. Play it in the gym and be the only person laughing on the treadmill.
But most of all... Enjoy!
You can get The Little Book of 101 Grandad Jokes from Amazon here.
Book 2: Dad's Book of Obscene and Inappropriate but Totally Hilarious Jokes
I'm so embarrassed by how inappropriate some of these jokes are that I used a pen-name as the author.
This Book Isn't For:
Anyone who's ever said "I'm not a prude but..."
Anyone who’s put off by four letter obscenities
Those who believe sex is not a fit subject for humor
Those who believe that religion is sacred and not to be made fun of
The politically correct
The easily offended
Those Who Are Left
Will enjoy this book immensely.
Memorize a few of these jokes and your reputation as a raconteur of note who can hold his (or her) ground around the water cooler with the best of them will soar to new heights.
You can get Dad's Book of Obscene and Inappropriate Jokes here.
The Fitness Blueprint Series
Book 1: Clean Eating for Weight Loss
What Goes into Your Food?
It is becoming more and more difficult today to know exactly what you are putting into your body when you eat. Between chemicals added to preserve freshness, hormones injected to promote growth, antibiotics given to stave off infection, and unhealthy fats added to enhance shelf life, today’s foods are often more science than nature. That’s where clean eating helps.
Why Clean Eating Is Important
Keep reading to learn all about what clean eating is, why it is important for you and your health, how clean eating can help you lose weight and maintain your loss, and what foods are included in a clean eating plan.
A Complete Guide
We’ll help you make the transition to clean eating with some helpful tips that will keep you on the right track. Clean Eating for Weight Loss is a complete guide to clean eating that tells you everything you ever wanted to know about this approach to food.
You can get Clean Eating for Weight Loss from Amazon here.
Book 2: 4 Minute Keto
The “secret” to losing weight, getting fit, resisting illness and living a long and healthy life is diet and exercise.
I really dislike the term “diet”. Mainly because it’s strayed so far from its original meaning of “what you eat”.
With the Keto “diet”, all your meals will be delicious high protein, high fat, low carb. They’ll keep your body in a state of ketosis, where instead of metabolising (burning) the glucose in your bloodstream for fuel, it will instead access your stored fat. Your body will become a lean, mean fat-burning machine.
The 4 Minute Exercise Program consists of a series of exercises, targeting both strength and aerobics, that take just 4 minutes to complete and require no special equipment. The time commitment is low, but the payoff is huge.
Read the book, implement the program and change your life!
You can get 4 Minute Keto from Amazon here.
Book 3: New Year Detox (with Emma Morgan)
Do you want to
- Improve your digestive health
- Get better quality sleep
- Enjoy enhanced energy levels
- Have greater mental clarity
- Glow with healthier skin
- Achieve healthy, long term weight loss
- Attain increased happiness
- Improve your immune system
- Protect against chronic disease
- Reduce your stress levels?
Each of these 10 benefits are specifically targeted by the 30 day body and mind detox program that is the heart of New Year Detox.
There is nothing vague about this program. It’s a blueprint.
You are given 5 specific habit changes to make for each week of 4 weeks and then 2 more for the final 2 days of the 30.
Give your new year (or any other time) the best possible start.
You can get New Year Detox from Amazon here.
Coming in 2019
We Didn't Have No Internet (Editor + Contributor)
Growing up Catholic in the Mid 20th Century
In 1961, I graduated from an all-boys Christian Brothers college in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. We were a class of around 36.
58 years later, we still get together twice a year for lunch at a pub in Brisbane with a turnout of around 20. Not always the same 20.
This is our journey.
Life Upgraded (Evelyn)
one teacher's sexual odyssey
This book was written by a friend of mine who lives in Melbourne. She wrote this account of her life and then very shyly asked if I'd publish it for her. She's well educated, quiet and refined and a classic example of "still waters run deep." Now her words...
OMG, this is so embarrassing…
I had no intention of titillating anyone.
Well, maybe a little. But mainly I just wanted to tell my story.
“puts 50 Shades of Grey, well, in the shade.”
“I so wish I’d had someone like this to teach me about sex.”
"Did that stuff really happen?"
These are just three of the hundreds of messages I’ve received since sending out pre-publishing copies of Life Upgraded.
All I wanted to do was to document a life less ordinary. One that acknowledged that we are all sexual beings and that there are many ways in which we can give each other pleasure.
Some of them illegal.
Which is ridiculous. “The nation’s lawmakers have no place in the nation’s bedrooms.” Don Dunstan.
Please enjoy my story. And if it's too steamy for you, here's some practical advice.
Close the book and stop reading.
Anticipated publishing date is February 14, 2019. Yes, Valentine's Day. Why not?