What does a Dad joke become when it gets too old?
Why, a Grandad joke, of course.
This collection of 101 of the best ever Grandad jokes is aimed at kids who just want a laugh and Grandads (and Dads) who want to stock up on those jokes that make their kids groan (while secretly laughing).
Ideal Secret Santa gift for the Dad or Grandad in your life or Christmas stocking filler for the kids. Imagine your 12 year old brightening up Christmas by reading all 101 jokes at the dinner table. Or not.
At the end of the book, you'll find 25 Swifties. One-liners to cover those situations where you think afterwards "Now if only I'd said...".
Buy the paperback and download the audio book for free. Play it in the car and annoy your passengers. Play it in the gym and be the only person laughing on the treadmill.
Warning: Contains the word fart (twice).
Keto is not a "diet". It's a scientific way of eating.
The process is simple. All your meals will be delicious high protein, high fat, low carb. They’ll keep your body in a state of ketosis, where it will burn stored fat for fuel.
Your body will become a fat-burning machine.
While Keto will help you lose weight by using your body’s stored fat as fuel, you’ll accelerate this process significantly by exercise. And, of course, exercise will also make you look fitter and leaner, as well as feel (and be) stronger. But most exercise programs are difficult to maintain. You get started but stop again before it’s had a chance to become a habit.
That’s why I developed the 4 Minute Exercise Program. It consists of a series of exercises, targeting both strength and aerobics, that take just 4 minutes to complete and require no special equipment. The time commitment is low, but the payoff is huge. Easy, right? But the difference between doing something and doing nothing is the biggest difference of all.
Read the book, implement the program and change your life!
Do you realize that every cell in your body is constantly being replaced?
So that in 12 months’ time, you will literally not be the same person that you are now. And what are all these new cells being built from? They’re being created from what you put in your body, what you fuel it with, what you eat and drink. The protein, the carbohydrates, the fats, the sugars, the enzymes and the vitamins contained in all natural, unprocessed food.
My mother was a clean eater before the term was even invented and she lived for a rewarding 102 years. It starts with what you put in your body. The nutrients that will power your cells and rebuild your body into the shape it should be. It starts with this book, Clean Eating for Weight Loss.
Do you want to
Each of these 10 benefits are specifically targeted by the 30 day body and mind detox program that is the heart of New Year Detox.
Anyone who’s ever said “I’m not a prude, but…”
Anyone who’s put off by four letter obscenities
Those who believe sex is not a fit subject for humor
Those who believe that religion is sacred and not to be made fun of
The politically correct
The easily offended
Will enjoy this book immensely.
Memorize a few of these jokes and your reputation as a raconteur of note who can hold his (or her) ground around the water cooler with the best of them will soar to new heights.
Don't be put off by this book's 1-star review. The reviewer, despite the warning above was easily offended. Hopefully, you're not.
The book title We Didn't Have No Internet is taken from the Kid Rock song All Summer Long.
"Splashing through the sand bar
Talking by the campfire
It's the simple things in life, like when and where
We didn't have no internet
But man, I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair"
The inference being that, as Catholic boys attending a private Catholic school in the 1950s and 60s, we were told as facts many things that weren't true.
That would be much more difficult in the age of the internet, where the world's knowledge is available at the click of a mouse.
We were taught by the Irish Christian Brothers, an order of men dedicated to teaching boys. Their three vows on entering the order are shown on the blackboard on the book's cover.
Poverty. They owned nothing.
Chastity. They couldn't marry.
Obedience. They did what they were told.
This book is a collection of experiences as seen through the eyes of me and my schoolmates. I am grateful for their contributions.
I was the Head of English at a prestigious private school in a capital city in Australia. I have been a teacher all my working life but took an early retirement at fifty. I have one son and two daughters.
My son and one of my daughters are happily married and my younger daughter is in a stable relationship with her girlfriend following several temporary ones over the past few years. I have grandchildren.
My children think I am boring. I think my students admired me, perhaps some of them even loved me. They thought I was unadventurous.
My fellow teachers thought I was safe, dependable and conservative. Possibly sexless.
I am none of these things. I have done so much that my children, my students and my co-workers could not possibly imagine me capable of. I look at my children and think what safe, boring lives you have had. I cannot tell them what their mother has done with her life, but I don’t want to die with no record of it, as if it had never happened.
Sometimes I think I’m like that old lady in Titanic. You know, the one who turns out to have been Kate Winslett when she was young.
This is my story.